Who do I really am?
Friday, September 14, 2007
Somehow, I'm feeling so damn sick and tired of this life I'm livin' now.. I'm struck, I had no idea what i'm doing.. I feel my life is falling apart, way apart and way beyond redemptions.. I'm not trying to get wadsoever sympathy now, all i want to get my heart and my mind right.. I want a direction, a purpose of livin'.. I'm very tired, way too weary already.. My soul is empty, my mind is empty, my heart is empty.. No longer can i recognize who i am when i look into the mirror.. Where had my joy and my smile gone to? I seriously wonder, where?!
Why am i trying so hard just to be me, my own self?!? No one, not one can ever understand.. I understand that, we ain't gods, we are mere humans.. Never expect myself to ever be in this state before.. I'm feeling so blue, so disappointed not in anyone more than myself.. Why am i doing these things i'm doin? What the heck is actually happening to me? I wonder.... I'm never one who quit easily... But I'm no longer one anymore... I'm felt like ending everything, i wanna quit... To give up..!
Why, Why ?!!?!? I wondering why....!! I need no one to tell me anything, as no one can ever help me.. All i need is just one or a few of you to standby me.. I'm so tired, keeping everything within myself.. Who can understand the burdens i had.. Who can? I wanna let go, and have my own life.. Why am i so pined down by my flaws? Why can people just look at my strengths? why can't people just appreciate the things i do? Why can i be myself and being forced to wear a mask? i hate that, I hate being the person i wasn't meant to be! But why is it so hard to be myself? Where had all my dreams and hopes gone to? Why do people have to keep destroying my life, killing my dreams and hopes in me? Why do i have to please you guys even i dun want to? i dun wanna be a pleaser anymore.. I hate to admit this fact, But i'm giving up.. Dun ask me why, I had enough! Far too much, way too much for me.. Enough is Enough! I had it, I'm walking out... I'm leaving this life that's just not meant for me..
Dun ever try to keep me, as you can't.. Until the day i finally realize who i am, I'm not going back.. I wonder why am i suffering so much while others can just take things just so for granted.. It's not the life i want.. I know, i'm being selfish, but somehow.. i don't know! It's not a one day thing, it had been for years.. Finally, the day for me to go is finally here.. Life will still go on while I'm not ard.. To that one person, Hope that without me, life will be better for you.. At least, you have one person less to worry for..! All the best, dun be sad becos of my absence.. It's not ur fault, things had changed.. I'm just no longer that Jia jun you knew.. Bye..
Jia Jun
"Life ain't a bed of roses.."
Journey through this phase of my life @ |{8:57 PM|
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The guy
About Me
- Kef aka Jia Jun aka JJ
- 20 yrs old
- 10/03/89
- 3rd year RP student, Dip in Sports and Leisure Management
Likes
FAVES...
Chill out with friends
Spending quality time with myself
Reading self-help books
Enjoy music
Fashion
Desires?
Wishing List..
A for FYP
RU's biz to grow
Iphone
Mac Book
Good Camera
More Clothings
More friends
Girl of my heart =P
Tagboard
Friends
[[ W368 & W447 ]]
[x]CG Blog
[x]Jason Jiang
[x]Ying hua
[x]Li Xian
[x]Hui Xian
[x]Yi Qin
[x]Jeryee
[x]Yuen Leng
[[ Secondary Buddies ]]
[x]Chin Yang
[x]Chin Seng
[x]Shi Yun
[x]Ellen
[x]Nigel
[x]Yu Xuan
[x]Jia Qi
[x]Joen
[[ RP dudes and Babes ]]
[x]Jessica
Music
Reflection
Beautiful Memories
Credits
Designer|
Blogger|
Blogskins
Contact Me
kef_harvester@hotmail.com [FB/MSN/twitter]
