When I woke up in the morning, my heart was very heavy. My mind was so messed up. I didn’t know what can I do. My heart was all over the place. I’m so confused; I lost my focus and direction once again. I hate this, this inconsistency of mine. So went to school, and stayed in the club room alone for the whole day, without going to class. With my countenance and moodiness, I bet I’ll bring discomfort to the team.

Thinking through what pastor Kong preached yesterday. The truth is, we are not indispensable to God, either to the world. The fact is, the world will go on with or without us. Life will still goes on, it’ll not stop there at all. Everything that I do or want to do, it benefits no one but myself. I’m the one that get the fruits, the blessing, the growth. You may think that others are destroying your life, but the fact without your permission, no one can do anything to you. You are the one that allows them to destroy your life and not do anything about it. I been thru a lot and I begin to realize that a lot of things that happened to me, they are the consequences of the things I did in the past. Every hurt and pain of my life is self-inflicted.

I realized that to pray or not, to read the word or not, to do anything or not, it’s all for my own good. It’s for my salvation, my walk with Jesus. In the fact that God had given us a free will, He trusts us to live our life for the benefit for ourselves. What benefits God when we pray? All He gets are whining and many more complaints. It’s for the benefit of ourselves, we get the blessings, and we grow in the process.

But most of all, it makes me ponder.. So is life just like this? Is it just living for I, myself and me? If not, what’s the purpose of my life? Pastor said one thing, you need to grow, so as to make others grow. Unless you have something in your hands to share, you have got nothing to give to anyone. What’s good for you to have everything but yet loses everything at the end of your life? Remember this my friends, you came naked to the world, naked you shall leave it too.

I want to serve, to give all of me for the service of others. What I have I’ll freely give! I’m not here to take, I want to be there giving what I have. Serving people means, sacrificing your own needs in exchange for other’s needs to be met. Servanthood is a sacrifice of oneself; it requires a willing heart, and humility.

To live for Your Glory Lord.