Where are you, my passion?
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Even before you read this entry, ask yourself this: Are you really a friend of mine? If you are not, please click the X at top right of your browser..
Hmmm.. Been really a long long time since I last blogged.. Everything seems to me now, a great mess.. Family, school and church, everything seems to bring me lots of pressure and burdens.. I'm feeling very dry, really tired of the things I'm doing.. I want to be honest, I'm feeling very low, extremely.. But do I have a choice? If I dun fight on, who will fight for me? I'm feeling very lonely nowadays, everyone seems to be so distant from me, or is it me who is closing up once again..?? Why am I feeling this way? Whenever I open up, I got hurt once and once again, I'm really disappointed.. Whenever I look for someone to talk to, I find none around me.. who knows my heart? or do anyone even bother about me? What's going on with my life? Is it my fault or what? Can someone please tell me? I'm really willing to change.. And can anyone tell me, where are all of you?
But i feel that more than everything i feel right now, i felt sorry toward God.. I had not been in connection with Him for quite sometime.. I long for the presence, but i can't seems to get away from the guilt and tiredness of life.. I feel so oppressed, so suppressed on the inside, so depressed.. I'm losing hope for life, I need a new sense of challenge in my life, a renewed passion.. I'm like a dead zombie now, I have no life on the inside.. I hate this feeling, it looks like I'm going back to the old life.. I don't want to be there once again!!!!! Can anyone help me? Who is there for me? Whenever I call you guys, you tell me you are busy.. whenever I ask you guys out, you guys are unavailable, whenever I really need you guys, none of you appeared.. Then can i really ask you guys, do you really love me? or you guys are just saying it for the sake of saying it? Now I'm really questioning myself, why am I sacrificing so much for all of you while none of you appreciate it? Althou I nv say a single thing, but who knows my pain? Am I taken for granted or what? Do let me know if everything I had done is worthwhile..
I hate to pretent to be doing well, but the fact that I'm not.., I'm not doing well now, really.. I'm negative, I'm really really tired.. I'm on the verge of breaking down, does anyone cares? None of you shown concern to my burdens.. Let your actions prove your words, words alone is rubbish, worthless.. I'm really frustrated with the people around me, I'm trying my best here, stop creating more problems for me, I need help myself too!! I'm angry with myself for being such a loser, a useless freak.. I feel so helpless now.. Who can help me? Lord, I know You will.. You are the only hope I have now.. Don't let go of me, and I know You won't.. Let Your grace and mercy flows in my life, let me once again experience Your unfailing love and mercy.. Lord, Your grace is sufficient for me.. David in the Bible say when he call upon You, You will heard and answer his prayers.. Lord, answer mine today.. I need Your strength and mercy today.. Lord, I'll trust in You alone..
Ps: I don't need to sympathy, I don't need any hypocrites here in my blog.. I'll know who are sincere who are not.. I'm not a 3 year old child, for you to fool around..
Journey through this phase of my life @ |{1:14 AM|
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The guy
About Me
- Kef aka Jia Jun aka JJ
- 20 yrs old
- 10/03/89
- 3rd year RP student, Dip in Sports and Leisure Management
Likes
FAVES...
Chill out with friends
Spending quality time with myself
Reading self-help books
Enjoy music
Fashion
Desires?
Wishing List..
A for FYP
RU's biz to grow
Iphone
Mac Book
Good Camera
More Clothings
More friends
Girl of my heart =P
Tagboard
Friends
[[ W368 & W447 ]]
[x]CG Blog
[x]Jason Jiang
[x]Ying hua
[x]Li Xian
[x]Hui Xian
[x]Yi Qin
[x]Jeryee
[x]Yuen Leng
[[ Secondary Buddies ]]
[x]Chin Yang
[x]Chin Seng
[x]Shi Yun
[x]Ellen
[x]Nigel
[x]Yu Xuan
[x]Jia Qi
[x]Joen
[[ RP dudes and Babes ]]
[x]Jessica
Music
Reflection
Beautiful Memories
Credits
Designer|
Blogger|
Blogskins
Contact Me
kef_harvester@hotmail.com [FB/MSN/twitter]
